Hello From The Outside...

Remember that time for a few months about 3 years ago when I blogged and it was funny??  Yeah, I forgot about it as well until I was putting off adulting today and stumbled across it (crap, the stupid washing machine just went off....go away responsibilities).  Anyways, it was interesting to go back and read from the perspective of someone who now has almost double the amount of time in this industry(and half the energy) as the woman who started this silly little blog.

SO MUCH has changed, yet hasn't at all.

It's so odd to have stumbled across this blog, as lately I have been doing some soul searching and self reflecting.  Yes, even Angie Zell can be serious sometimes.  Sort of.  I think I am going to start this shit back up.  It would be nice to rediscover that energetic woman again who found humor in everything and loved sharing her stories.  Can I be honest?  Somewhere over the last few years I lost my identity.  I mean, I am still me...just a toned down version of late.  I look back at these blogs and I see the gal I used to be: super confident, someone who took care of herself as much as she did everyone else around her, a quick witted spit fire...and I want to get back to her again (and not just because she was skinnier).  She's even more lovable than the person I am now.  ;)

Paris, 2013

2016 with my "sister from another mister" (hi Erica!!!)

Sooo....let's get things started again with a recap of my last few CRAP DAYS!  If you follow me on Snapchat, you've already heard the abridged version. Continue reading only if you are ok with some marginal griping.  You have been warned.  Anywho...

I started the first of my 3 adays (again...those are days you are on call 24/7 & basically Delta's minion) on Saturday.  Things began looking up as I was awarded the MSN illegal I preferred the day before.  Don't report until 2000, quick little jaunt over to MSN, on the ground for 8 hours, then quick little jaunt back.  Nothing to it.
Yeah, right.
I need to start remembering to knock on fuselage when I think these things.
First, getting to work was a treat since Mother Nature decided she wanted to show out with a snow storm in April.  Rude.  This meant we also had to spend extra time on the ground deicing.  Extra time on the airplane = less time in the delightful king sized bed waiting for me in WI (with no extra pay).  No sweat, 30 minutes won't be the end of me.  Then the crazy lady boarded the aircraft...and oh, was she taking her role as "most annoying passenger on the plane" seriously. She started out with having a tough time grasping the concept that I wouldn't/couldn't lift her bag into the overhead bin for her while she sat and watched, even after she informed me she took extra time to pack it extra light so it wouldn't be too heavy for me to lift.  During taxi she got up and was running all over the galley trying to find the bathroom.  Apparently she didn't hear me tell her to sit down multiple times, which wasn't half as annoying as having to get up and actually show her where the lavatory (that she was staring directly at) was.  Even that wasn't as annoying as having to call the pilots and hear their annoyed sighs in my ear because we have to pull the plane over until she sits down and buckles up.  The FAA has this crazy rule where they want you to be safe while the plane is moving and they expect us to enforce it.  Go figure.  Silly FAA!  Crazy Pants finally sat back down, only to come running back up a few minutes later, plane had just started moving again, because she apparently forgot the one task of sitting down and buckling up that we asked of her, to ask for ice water.  Sometimes I have to count to 3 and then talk...this was one of those times...so that I could politely inform her that she needed to take her seat and I would get her a water once we were in air.  She marched her bare foot feet back to her seat, and then proceeded to make a phone call.  A PHONE CALL!!!!  That's when I tapped out.  If I am not getting Flight Leader pay, the person who is can deal with that level of pain in the assery .  The FL then wanted to look this woman up on the paperwork, only to discover she had snuck into the upgraded seat she was currently occupying.  Needless to say, that took a minute to take care of as well.  Once airborn, the fun continued...while doing beverage service I handed a man a pack of pretzels and asked what I could get him to drink.  He gave the bag of pretzels the look of disgust only someone with a healthy amount of self entitlement could muster, then told me he wanted peanuts.  Now, we all know I can be a *tiny* bit of a smart ass sometimes (it's a gift), so I smiled and laughingly informed him that if I had a choice of snacks I wouldn't have just handed him pretzels.  Let's note here that this exact same scenario has happened to me at least 500 times in my flying career & the end result has always been the same: the person realizes they were silly and we both have a little giggle and move on with life.  Apparently every 501 times is the exception.  All I got was a glare as he sneered "give me your name".  Awesome.  Can't wait to have that complaint letter in my file.
That evening we stayed in downtown Madison.  Here I rediscovered my loathing for working weekends (it's been a minute).  I recall a day when a hotel and weekends meant drinking and partying until 4AM.  Now they mean trying to sleep through youngsters drinking and partying when I have to get up at 4AM.  Suffice it to say, I got zero sleep, but at least the flight home was drama free.  Thanks goodness for small favors.
Sunday the fun didn't stop.  I was assigned a super easy late evening flight to FLL, with a deadhead back in the morning.  Piece of cake.
As if.
The flight to FLL started out with a maintenance, delaying us about 30 minutes. The constant chorus of call bells ringing, heralding the sad news of work to come, should have been a warning to us.  Should have...
FLL is a pretty tough crowd in general, but apparently late evening flight on a Sunday crowd to FLL tops that.  We ran out of cookies.  On a 757.  Do you know how hard that is???  I am not even shocked though, as a typical order on that flight was: "I want a can of cranberry juice, a glass with 3 ice cubes in it, a half cup coffee at room temperature, 2.5 creams, 3 3/4 packs of sugar, a glass of water with a splash of apple juice, and 4 packs of cookies.  Oh, and make sure none of the cookies are crushed.".  It was magical.
Upon landing at 12:06AM, we were very excited to get to the hotel.  Which would have been easier if their shuttle service didn't stop running at midnight.  I kid you not.  45 minutes later, we had a cab to the hotel.  Not just any hotel though...you see, we couldn't get rooms at our regular place, and Spring Break was in full swing, so we were sent to the hooptiest part of Ft Lauderale.  The night got even better when we arrived only to find out that they didn't have any of our keys made up yet or the paperwork processed.  There goes another 15 minutes of used up patience I can never get back.  Oh, and the van only runs once an hour at the top of the hour. Which caused the other FA to have a full blown meltdown because she didn't want to get to the airport 2 hours early.  Precious.
9 hours later, I was back downstairs, waiting to catch the 10AM shuttle to the airport.  Now, FA's HAVE to be timely.  There is no choice in the matter.  Our job depends on it.  So when it hit 10:05AM and the van still wasn't there, I started to get anxious.  I am just trying to catch my 11:114AM deadhead home...they are NOT going to wait for me!  Van pulls up, driver hops out, tells me I have to wait a moment, and runs inside.  This is the part where I started to become cranky.  I could feel it flow through my veins like a poison.  I am NOT going to miss this flight back to DTW!  Van driver comes out and says we have to stop at Holiday Inn; to which I inform her we don't have time.  By the beard of Zeus, I managed to talk her into skipping Holiday Inn and we head straight to the airport.  Would have been awesome had it not been for the fact that halfway there her boss came over the radio to holler at her for the decision that I forced her into making.  Feeling terrible, I decide I am going to give her a good tip when we get to the airport.  Too bad I forgot that all of the bills in my wallet were Euro.  Yes,  I am the wanker who tried to tip in Euro.  I suck.  I made this nice van driver get in trouble and then I didn't even have cash to tip her! I felt like the worst of the worst.  Sorry Carol...hope you still have your job!
Good news (yeah, I totally changed topics real fast), I made my deadhead flight.  Hunkered down and proceeded to doze off to the land of snoring while sleeping with my mouth open (enjoy that mental image). In 3 hours I would be landing in DTW and driving home to relax.  Or so I thought.  My slumber was interrupted by one of the working crew members holding a piece of paper.  Before she even spoke I knew it was an ACARS, and I knew who it was for.  Jesus take the wheel...I was pulled to work a BNA turn when I land.  NOOO!!!  I just sat there and stared at the paperwork for 10 minutes, willing it to be some late to the table April Fool's Day joke.  It wasn't.   So now I have to rush off this plane to another plane, with no chance to eat (haven't done it all day).
The rest of the day went as follows...rush off the plane, get to the gate for the BNA flight only to discover one of my crew members is an FA at the top of my "do not fly with them ever again or risk getting fired for punching a coworker" list, and before I even have a chance to let this new level of rage settle in, she informs me I am working Flight Leader.  So let's recap...3 hours sleep Saturday night, reduced rest the night before, already cranky before getting to DTW, hangry, working with someone I try to avoid at all costs, and now I have to also be in charge instead of just zoning out and pouring some Cokes.  Great.  Super.  Love it.
You know what could make all of this better?  If I put my SkyPro on the jumpseat and the other FA pulled that same JS down without checking first and broke the rambler on my SkyPro, which would cost me money.
All of this added drama and 5 extra hours at the airport for a measly 1.5 extra hours worth of pay.  Which will just about cover the cost of the new rambler I have to get.
Let's just say that my eye started twitching on the drive home last night.  It was a long few hours.

Back at it again tomorrow to work a domestic 3 day trip.  Stay tuned for the reason why I am actually super excited for it.... :)

I can't promise I will be good at keeping up with this blog, but I am going to try my hardest.  It's long past time I owned my "muchness" like I used to and I think documenting my adventures is a step in the right direction.

Stay tuned.



"You used to be much more muchier...you've lost your muchness."  ~ The Mad Hatter

BAH....HUMBUG!

I love Christmas.  Truly, it is one of my favorite times of year.  It is also one of my least favorite times of year because of the following 2 words: HOLIDAY FLYERS.

Why oh why is flying so hard for some people!??!?!  Sometimes I have to hum holiday tunes in my head just to get through work this time of year. It's a culmination of things.  There are the passengers that only fly once a year so they splurge and get that first class ticket.  This purchase comes complete with entitlement (apparently).  Therefore they walk on the plane thinking there should be a herald announcing their arrival, gold plated toilet paper, a roasted pig's head for dinner, and a sleep number mattress for their seat, while they "poo poo" everything.  For the next few hours they will nonstop send the flight attendants running for anything and everything.  "The help" doesn't deserve a break because they paid good money for that ticket that comes with complimentary drinks and by golly they WILL get it's worth!  No one has ever insisted I feed them grapes, but that is about where we stop short on the demands I've heard.

While the first class flight attendants are having fun in the front, the other FA's are dealing with a severe amount of "diamond-itis" in the back.  Diamond-itis is what happens when the Medallion members, who typically receive first class upgrades, don't get their deserved move from the back with the "commoners" because people actually paid for the seats up there and now first class is full.  The audacity!  Heaven forbid they now have to actually travel past row 6 into...gasp...main cabin.  It's enough to cause someone a case of the vapors, to be sure.

In the meantime, we have the other once a year flyers that shelled out for a ticket to fly home, but chose to fly in the back with the rest of the cattle.  You would think the thought of going home to loved ones would make people's hearts fill with joy & love.  You would think.  Instead, by the time they get to the plane they've been so overwhelmed by checking their bags, going through TSA, and waiting to get on the flight, that they pretty much want to shank anyone wearing wings & a blue polyester uniform.

Here are a few friendly reminders from a very frazzled flight attendant who once every 12 months, during this time of year, questions her sanity for wanting to do this job:

• YOU DO NOT NEED TO STAND AT THE GATE WAITING FOR THEM TO CALL YOUR ZONE.  I swear we won't give your seat away.  Sit down & chill out.
• The flight attendants are not your enemy. 
• Remove your earphones when I am attempting to converse with you.  Immediately.  Do NOT make me repeat myself.
• Flight Attendants don't make up rules as we go along.  The FAA gave us a list to enforce.  It's sort of why we are paid to be there.  Please listen to these rules the first time.  We know what we are doing.  You clearly don't.  
• We do not have an unlimited supply of beverages & snacks.  I get you want to get your money's worth of goodies, but go easy.  Do you really need 5 beverages and 6 snacks?  Really?
• Winter coats are not meant for overhead bins.  If you do insist on breaking this rule, make sure you put it on top of your roller bag.  
• Santa isn't the only one who has a "naughty list".  Trust me when I say you want to stay off of mine. 
• If the plane is moving, you shouldn't be moving from your seat.  Sit down & buckle up.  Seriously.  
• There is NO NEED to touch your flight attendant.  Just....NO.
• You have germs.  I don't want them.  For some reason people reallllllyyyyy want me to grab the lip of their used cup when I am cleaning up garbage.  Not gonna happen.  When I go to grab the bottom of the cup, don't try to sneak attack me with the slobbered on top part.  While we are on the topic of germs...go throw away your used snot rag in the bathroom.  Do you want to touch my boogers?  Right back at ya.  
• Joking about bombs on a plane while you are on the plane is a bad idea.  Work on your material.
• You haven't ever been in truly severe turbulence ("OMG, the plane just dropped 8 million feet out of nowhere"...mmm...nope) nor have you almost been in a plane crash.  Trust me.  When you tell your FA these things, we just nod & smile but in our head we are rolling our eyes. 
• NO, the planes didn't get smaller.  NO the seats didn't change size.  NO, NO, NO complaining!  Guess who doesn't want to hear it for the 10th time that flight?
• Be nice.  To everyone, but especially your FA's.  We have weird schedules & work long hours.  Odds are we are just plain worn out & could use a friendly smile & agreeable passengers.  
• The galley is not where I planned on hosting a holiday party.  It's why you didn't get an invite.  When we are back there, we don't really need your buns in our face:

Since I am not at work, I shall NOT wish you a Happy Holiday as I sign off...I shall wish you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS (take THAT being PC)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Enjoy being home with your family & friends while some of us schlep peanuts, pretzels & cookies in giant aluminum tubes flying through the skies bound for destinations that are nowhere near a single one of our loved ones.  If you do plan on flying to see the people you cherish, please try and recall all I have written.  'Tis the season for giving....however, please do me a favor & don't give me a headache.  I already got one of those last year.  Even though I didn't ask for one.

Thanksgiving: Flight Attendant Style...

I just got done shoveling my Aunt Diane's stuffing into my mouth...mmm (thanks again Diane).  I mean, who doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving over leftover stuffing on the 2nd of Dec???  

So, "what did Angie do on Thanksgiving?" is the question I am sure all of you are wondering...soooo....here goes...

I was on my Adays & had my fingers crossed that maybe, just maybe, I would get lucky and not get used so I could spend the holiday with my family.  Yeah...that didn't happen.  My phone jolted me out of sleep at 7:30AM & crew scheduling was on the other end letting this gal know her dreams of passing out in a food coma were crushed.  Instead, I was heading to Los Angeles for 20 hours.  Before I had a chance to full out pout, I noticed my girl Dana was coming along for the ride.  Game changer!  You see, Dana & I became buddies during training & if I could use 3 words to describe her it would be: ride or die.  Dana & her roomie (Misa) were always the ones I knew I could count on when it came to going out on the weekends to blow off steam...and I could also count on the fact that no matter what, we were going to have alot of fun.

Dana, Me & Misa

Immediately, I got on the phone and text Dana to let her know that if we had to be away from home for Thanksgiving...well...we were going to make it worthwhile!  We decided we should rent a car & head out.  Not sure where, but we had 4 hours on a plane bound to LAX to discuss it.  A little while later I was waiting in the crew lounge, eating my half frozen pumpkin pie & waiting on the rest of the crew so we could start the briefing.  That's when Dana showed up, followed by Melissa (this trendy, cute FA with a million dollar smile) and Rania (this super laid back, beautiful FA who had to leave her 2 little ones behind to fly but was still amazingly sweet anyways).  We had our briefing & agreed that this was going to be a no drama flight and since it was the holidays we weren't going to work too hard (haha).  Work even hooked us up with a brand new 737 to fly out there.

Love the new look!

That whole new airplane thing was fun, until it came time to turn off the lights.  Ummm....yeah....you would think with 4 FA's that one of us would know how and where to turn them off.  Like I said, you would think...

Dana tried after Rania & Melissa gave up...

I tried after that...

...and when that didn't work I just started laughing...

We called the Captain & he said "I am sure you ladies can figure it out".  Boy, was he shocked when he came out of the flight deck 2 hours into the trip to see the lights still on.  How were we supposed to know that you had to touch the upper left hand corner in order for the screen to work????  Psh.

Rania, Melissa, Dana & I were having way too much fun for 4 women who were stuck away from home, but that's what we had all hoped for. Apparently all of us had been praying on the way to the airport for the same thing: a good crew.  Passengers even commented on how much fun the 4 of us were.  Thus proving the age old theory that when you are having fun, others around you can't help but smile too.  We might have been having too much fun...at one point I went to the back to see this guy I thought was really cute (what???  4 hours is a long time to kill and sometimes you have to find ways to entertain yourself aside from handing out pretzels) and we were giggling about it; which would have been fine had I not then gone to walk back to the front and while the ladies were watching I decided to be a goofball and blow kisses at the back of the cute guy's head...and while they were chuckling at my antics and I was about to walk past him (and didn't notice the bag sitting in the aisle) I tripped and stumbled through the aisle like the graceful ballerina that I am.  Feel free to laugh...I did while running back to the aft galley where Melissa & Dana were holding their stomachs from laughing so hard....because it is hilarious!  

Once touching down, Dana & I went to grab the rental car.  Did I forget to mention what we picked out...?

A CAMERO CONVERTIBLE!!!!

Hey, if we were going to do this...we were going to do this.  Pity Party 2013 was going to be EPIC! Now we just had to make solid plans.  Drive an hour to Malibu for some drinks & dinner on the ocean?  I LOVE Malibu. Only drive 30 minutes to Santa Monica and hang on the promenade?  We discussed the options while driving down the freeway with the top down in 70 degree weather.  You're starting to feel less sorry for us, right?  

First up, we decided to have a little pregame cocktail party in my room while getting ready.   Which basically meant we didn't feel like driving to Malibu, so we decided Santa Monica it was.  The 4 of us hopped in the car and went out to enjoy the night.  Of course, we had to have our Thanksgiving meal first...

We even brought our own decorations

Mucho Nachos

After a dinner full of girl talk, we went for a walk down the Promenade.  Without coats on.  It was glorious.  We then swung around to Hollywood Blvd so we could act like tourists for a bit.

Michael Jackson's star on the Walk of Fame

Hanging outside of Grauman's

Melissa & Dana on the Walk of Fame

Of course it wouldn't be a night in the life of Angie without something ridiculous happening...and holiday's are apparently no exception.  I made it the entire evening without getting pulled over in the Camero & literally 100 feet from the hotel I almost accidentally went the wrong way down a one way.  Just as I caught my mistake, a bright light flashed on me & I noticed that I am awesome enough to turn the wrong way in front of a cop.  OOPS!  I quickly corrected my mistake and tried to make it around the block to the front of the hotel where I belonged, when I saw them...the red & blue flashing lights.  FML.  The cop (and of course he was cute so it was realllly hard to dislike him) walked up to the car & the first thing he asks me to do is turn it off.  Uhhh....what???  No cop has ever asked me to do that, so of course I went from mildly worried to about to wet my dress.  Then he proceeded to ask us where we were headed, to which we all responded: "right there" in unison while pointing to the hotel.  Not pleased with our answer (or my deer in the headlights expression),  he asked where we were from.  3 Michigan's and 1 Ohio for an answer just peaked his distrust in our story that much more...so he asked the inevitable.  What were we doing in California at 11:30PM, so far away from home, on Thanksgiving?  So I just looked at him, shrugged my shoulders and said "we are flight attendants".  Just like *that* he got a smile on his face & everything changed!  The next thing I heard (aside from the voice in my head praying that I wasn't going to get a freaking ticket) was "ok, well I was just pulling you ladies over to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!  Have a great night!" Ummm, what?  OKAY!!!!!!!!  

So, this Thanksgiving I was grateful for having a friend to fill the day full of fun memories with, new friends that I truly enjoyed spending time with, 70 degree weather & of course being a cute flight attendant with a Camero full of other cute flight attendants.  Though I would never pass up a chance to spend time with my loved ones & family on a holiday, I can honestly say this is a Thanksgiving I am NEVER going to forget!

That's What She Said...Again

A few months back, I compiled a brief list of random FB "check-in's" from my travels over the last few years.  Since it was so popular the first time around, I thought I would throw another one together for all of you to recall the ridiculousness that is me while I work.  Enjoy!  

******

"Mission: eat as many types of potato foods as possible. 
ACCEPTED" — at Boise. Airport.

"I'm wearing a white button down while rocking red lipstick, drinking fruit punch and eating ketchup. Not liking these odds..." — at Detroit Metro Airport (DTW).

"I feel all special and stuff when a passenger asks to take a pic with me. Like a famous person sans all the Botox, nice cars and loads of money! Yeah!" — at Salt Lake City International Airport (SLC).

"Jetiquette for today: I don't need to know about your infected cervix or that you stopped somking joints with your boyfriend because he has a cold sore. Those are private conversations and the seats in an airport at a gate are a very public place. I can hear you...try as I might to tune you out..." — at La Gaurdia Airport.

"Home!!! I don't have to smell Bloody Mary mix, wear polyester, use hairspray, or practice patience for 4 glorious days!!!!!" — atDetroit Michigan International Airport.

"You sure have on a lot of red today". Thanks Capt Obvious. I also have on a lot randomly spattered food, tomato juice, baby spit and some sticky substance I hope is chocolate. I'm too tired and gross to even roll my eyes at you. Shoo. — at Cincinnati International Airport.

"Group of teenage boys start checking me out and talking about how they would like to "hit that". 
Me: "you need to have some respect for your elders...and pull up your pant while you're at it." All without breaking stride. 
^see above for the exact moment when I realized I am turning into my mother. Shit." — at Salt Lake City Intntl. Airport.

"I won't consider you legit until you run 200 yards in heels and a red dress, pulling 50 lbs of luggage all without messing up your hair. Get on my level." — at Detroit Metro Airport (DTW).

"Stopped in the bathroom to fix my lipstick and hair when a woman in her 50's approached me to let me know I was "very beautiful". Little did she know I was having a bad day and feeling sort of down about myself and needed the smile. Random acts of kindness are the best." — at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport.

"When you're this tired, there are no witty check ins. 
Zell, out." — at Pensacola International Airport.

Passenger: "can I ask you a question? Are the Delta girls required not to stink?"
Me: "uhhhh....good hygiene is highly encouraged yeah...?"
Passenger: "I am not trying to be weird. It's just that all if you always smell so GOOD!"
....only in Portland lol. — at Portland International Airport.

"Heading to Paris. Again. Pretty sure it's a sign I'm supposed to live there. Will keep an eye out for husbands while cramming crepes in my mouth." — at Newark Liberty International Airport.

"Trying to decide which would be the lesser of evils...a zombie apocolypse or working this next flight." — at Memphis International Airport.

"If you want to hate someone I'm about to volunteer.....I can take it while sitting on the beach with the boys for the rest of the day!"— at Ft Lauderdale Intl Airport.

"This guy tried 3 times to sneak into first class. Not on my watch, buddy! Eyes like a hawk..." — at Lambert Saint Louis International Airport.

"Days like today remind me why I carry a wine opener with me..."— at Chicago O'Hare International Airport.

"Dear TSA:
It is a freaking corkscrew. And it is right in the bottom front pocket exactly where I told you it would be. Thanks though for spending 10 MINUTES tearing apart my flight bag, hope you had fun making the entire thing a mess. As always, totally impressed by your dedication to hiring only the brightest and the best." — at JFK - John F. Kennedy International Airport.

"Walk on left, stand on right. Apparently this is the hardest of concepts...." — at Minneapolis/Saint Paul International Airport.

"Here's to you nice guy who helped me with my bags. You are the last of a dying breed. Chivalry is always a good look, gents!" — atDetroit Metro Airport (DTW).

"Hi, my name is Angie and I spill tomato juice on people. Either this proves my theory that tomato juice is the devil or everyone else's theory that I'm klutzy. 
Crap." — at Las Vegas Intl Airport, Nevada.

I see you day 3....in order to keep myself entertained I'm going to think of ways to torment the pilots. They're gonna love it, I'm sure! — at Philadelphia International Airport.

"Still in denial that I'm awake..." — at Charleston International Airport.

"I wish I could get in touch with Angie from 7 days ago, I would ask her where she parked her ride...." — at Detroit Metro Airport (DTW).

"I'm dreaming of fleece pants and a warm bed...." — at Buffalo Niagara International Airport.

"Time to open up a hurt locker on some lobster. I see you New England." — at TF Green Airport (PVD).

....and let's not forget my constant search for true happiness...

...or that time Chemistry class FINALLY came in handy (15 years later)....

Wrestling With My Emotions...

Ok, ok...so I have a mildly amusing story for those of you that know & love me (or for those of you that just love to hear a good story of a flight attendant acting a hot mess)...

So last Sunday, I was finishing up my workday with a deadhead (I already explained what this is once, so go ahead and Google it at this point as punishment for not reading every singly one of my blogs thus far) from ATL-BNA.  There I was just chilling in my seat, eating my chocolate covered gummy bears and reading the latest InStyle (fell in love with an amazing pair of gold D&G sunglasses by the way) when I looked up to see this VERY tall and VERY built guy taking up pretty much the entire aisle.  Now, for those of you that don't know me...I am *slightly* boy crazy...and my weakness is tall.  Especially tall with big muscly arms!  Mr. Tall Muscly Arm Man sat down in the seat across the aisle from me & since I wasn't feeling very witty (or pretty due to the fact I had to get up at 4AM for work) I went back to reading my magazine & figured I would just sneak glances of him here & there during the flight to give my eyes something fun to do.  Then I noticed a theme...there were a plethora of tall, muscly men getting onto the plane.  I looked down & noticed I was still clad in wool & polyester, so immediately ruled out that I had died & gone to heaven, therefore decided something must be up.  After staring at each of the tall, good looking guys as they walked past me (it was a tough job, but someone had to do it), I realized some of them had WWE zip up's on.  In the meantime, the flight attendant next to me in the window seat was giving my tall neighbor (Mr. Tall Muscly Arm Man to you) a good ribbing in her cheeky British accent (UGH...like I can compete with THAT) and somehow she ended up getting me involved in the convo too; so of course we asked him what was up.  Apparently they are all WWE wrestlers & were headed back from London over to Nashville for Monday Night Raw (or Smackdown...or whatever that Monday night show is...clearly I am not a fan).  

Long story short, we got in flight and cheeky British accent FA got busy doing something else & I went back to coveting the D&G sunglasses that I will never own, when hot wrestler & I started a convo.  Can you blame a gal for taking a once in a lifetime chance to ask how people actually get started in such an industry, how the lifestyle works & what the travel schedule is like???  Usually the shoe is on the other foot & I am the one fielding questions about my weird job/lifestyle, so it was a nice change.  We chatted about how he used to play football, his story about how he got into wrestling, if the gold D&G sunglasses were amazing or not (he passed that test), & the trials of trying to meet someone and date when you are never, ever home.  He was actually a really cool guy & towards the end of the flight gave me his contact info & told me to text him sometime.  

So, I went back to reading my magazine (and flipping back and forth to the page with those damn D&G sunglasses...I consider them one of my many great lost loves since I know I will never own them) until we touched down in Nashville.  First thing I always do is turn my phone off of airplane mode so I can get the multitude or text messages from friends who love me (hint), and this instance was no different.  My phone indicated I had a voicemail:

"Hey Ang!  It's Cass.  I got the call & am heading to Madison for my double lung transplant."

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMMMMMMMMGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, really....OHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My natural response?  I looked over at him with my mouth open, looked at my phone, looked back at him and started to cry.  Then get excited while crying (and the mascara started running down my face).  Then blurt out that my sister is getting a double lung transplant while smiling and crying (some people don't get that this is actually a good thing...though scary). Then continued to try and call my sister & parents but was so flustered I couldn't even figure out how to do that. 

Yeaahhh....so guess who isn't going to be pursing that avenue???  Well, unless I get really bored and then you never know what type of things I will do to entertain myself on an overnight.  Even text a WWE wrestler who probably thinks I am insane.  Really though, I've sort of had my fill of guys who have jobs that require them to be in the public eye though - been there, done that & honestly I just want to find a nice guy & settle down into some form of normalcy.  You know, more normal than having a day where you visit 4 different states in 12 hours, get a WWE wrestler's digits & then find out your younger sister is going through a double lung transplant.

For those of you wondering about my sister, I suggest you check out our Team Cassie FB page (and YES, this is a shameless plug to get you to our page so we can increase awareness about cystic fibrosis and NO I don't feel bad about it):

https://www.facebook.com/TeamCassie

There, I hope you enjoyed the hot mess story of where I was when I found out about Cass & how I totally looked like a spazz in front of one of the hottest guys I have ever talked to.  Enjoy the laugh at my expense! 

I'm Sorry...

Hello from the world's most sporadic blogger!  Oops...

So, I just got home from 6 days of flying (2 back-to-back 3 day trips) & let me tell you, I feel like road kill. Let's just say that if I were to cut myself right now I would bleed coffee...aka the life force of flight crews.

Thanks for being there for me during the rough times, love...

 On this last trip, I noticed a bad habit I have developed during my years as an FA.  I SAY SORRY TOO MUCH.  I noticed it when Kim, another FA, dropped some coats and said sorry...then I said sorry for not noticing ASAP...then she said sorry because I crouched down to help her pick them up...then I said sorry for grabbing the same hanger that she did.  I SAY SORRY TOO MUCH!!!!

How did this happen???  I couldn't help but wonder.  Granted, I have always been raised to show respect & display lady like manners (stop laughing some of you...I am a lady when push comes to shove), so "sorry", "please" and "thank you" have been a part of my daily vocab since childhood...but this is overboard.  After mulling it over I realized that this habit came from my line of work.  All day I apologize for things...over and over again.

* "Sorry, the flight is delayed for maintenance."
* "Sorry, due to severe weather your flight is cancelled."
* "Sorry, we weren't catered with peanuts on this flight."
* "Sorry I bumped into you with the cart."
* "Sorry, we can only serve one drink at a time per person."

Then I noticed another theme...I say sorry ALOT for things that I really have NO CONTROL over, but I can't say what I really want to say sometimes, so I just say SORRY.  It's my way of biting my tongue. There are days, days where I have been away from home for almost a week & have been up since 3AM, that I would LOVE to say the following...

* "Yes, our flight is delayed for maintenance and maybe you should thank your lucky stars for that so       we don't end up as flaming rubble at the end of the runway."
* "Dude, I am not God & really can't control the weather...but I sure am happy we aren't going to try       to fly through Blizzard 2013 because though I know I can evacuate a plane if we crash,  I don't           really want to prove it the hard way."
* "It's a 39 minute flight, if you are THAT hungry (and picky) then why didn't you grab something on       the way to the gate???"
* "That sucks that you got hit by my cart, but since you have seen it in the aisle for the last 20                 minutes & knew we were coming, maybe you could have removed your outstretched legs from said     aisle.  I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so I didn't see them there until it was too late."
 * "If you get trashed off of the 5 beers you would like to order right this second & slam all at            once during this 1.5 hour flight, I am going to get in a ton of trouble per the FAA (who are the ones      who say only 1 drink at  a time).  Though it might be mildly amusing to see you rip your shirt off         & run down the aisle yelling about how you just want to be free to be yourself, I can't run the risk       that you will be the other type of drunk who gets hostile after a few & will require the police               officers and paperwork that must be completed before I am allowed to go to sleep."

How I look...

How I feel...

How I cope...

It's kind of taken over in my "real life" though.  The last guy I dated during the summer would tell me all the time "you don't need to always say you are sorry.  You say it about 20 times a day for stuff that doesn't even matter."  I just figured he was trying to be sweet and blew it off.  Oopsie.  As a flight attendant it's part of the territory...you just smile and say sorry because that's what you are paid to do.  You train yourself to grin & bear it so that the customer leaves happy (or happy-ish...some people there is just no pleasing, try as you might). Even when you wish people would say sorry for things like making you repeat yourself 4 times because they refuse to take their earbuds out (don't get me started on this topic, that's a blog for a different day), or when they elbow you right in the hip or thigh when you are in the aisle (I have perma bruises all over my upper legs from this).  Even then, I apologize to them because clearly the customer is always right & I am a good FA who likes to stay out of my manager's office.

Yeah, I mean I am human too and sometimes I do legit need to say sorry.  You know, like for dropping tomato juice on someone's freshly pressed khaki's.  Or there was the time I accidentally elbowed some guy right in the temple because I lost my balance during taxi. Ironically, those people who really do deserve the billion sorry's I heap upon them are usually (granted, I said usually) the ones who are the most chill & brush it off with a simple "it was an accident' it's ok".  This gal needs to learn how to put value back into that single word in my daily life, so I am vowing here in the world of the internet (and we all know if it is on the internet, it MUST be true) that I am going to stop using "sorry" as my instant "go to".

Sorry I am not sorry for quitting this constant being sorry business...  :)



:Oh I had a lot to say, was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right." 
~ "Sorry" by Buckcherry